(no subject)

[fenrisranger]

He comes upstairs, and demands to look at everything I've got open.
Which, fortunately was nothing really bad, but of course he finds something to complain about.
Evidently somebody's userinfo that I had open had the Cheno Half-Naked Dressing Room colorbar. If he'd have looked at the picture, he'd have seen that she most definately was not any naked. But, as I said, he's an asshole.
He goes into this rant about how I'm doing things that I'm not supposed to be doing and how the internet is dangerous. And I'm all like "I'm not a child" and he says "Yes, you are." And decides to cancel the internet. He does say that every few months, but this time, he's rather serious, I'm afraid.
In every single one of my classes, there have been assignments that it is absolutely impossible to do without the internet. Mom says that's discrimination against people who don't have the internet and that they have to let you use the computer at school, but who's going to say, "Yeah, my dad cancelled the internet because he thinks I'm looking at naked pictures of Kristin Chenoweth." Who's really even just going to stand up and say that they don't have the internet at all when everyone else does. But I digress.
He also added that from now on, I've got to have someone standing behind me when I'm on the internet. So, that just about ends my life.
This is probably the last time I'm going to post on here, or anywhere.
He wants access to my harddrive now. My external one that I got for Christmas. (Which has my stories and stuff on it.) I'm going to end up having to wipe everything. My harddrive, my email accounts, my LJ, every board that I ever posted on. I wouldn't put it past him to google my name and email tomorrow at work. Which I have done, and which comes up with not only fanfic, but my posts on here and everywhere.
I'm reluctant to put this behind a friendslock because I really like it when random people look at my journal and comment. It's a way to make friends.

So, my privacy is about to be officially invaded. I'm going to have to take my giant, overstuffed fanfiction binder to school tomorrow and recycle all the paper there. I'm trashing all my incomplete works. And I'm throwing away my quote book (because lots of the quotes are from fics).

I'm so totally in a downswing right now that this makes me want to kill myself really badly. I suppose, truly everything makes me want to kill myself really badly, but this is worse than it has been in a long time.

I'm off to begin the total erasure of my life.

Comments

[finding-jay.livejournal.com]

If you want, you can send all your stories/etc to my email account- (j.marguerite@gmail.com), so you don't have to delete everything. I'll save them for you, for when you get back online.

Do you know why your Dad's being a complete and utter ass? If you have school work and need the Internet... well, you need the Internet. Can you maybe get your mum to see the complete asshattery logic behind this?

So sorry about this whole fucktarded business.

[ijemanja.livejournal.com]

God, I'm so sorry - as someone who is extremely private, what's happening to you is just about my worst nightmare. As your parent he has the right to protect you (stupid and unreasonable as it clearly is) but you absolutely have the right to keep some things private - especially your journal, your creative pursuits... This is like someone stealing your diary and reading it - it's just totally abhorrent.

Can you keep things in your locker at school till things blow over? I know there are free online archives where you could store your files, too - only you would have the password. Also, wipe your temp. internet files, history and bookmarks, so he can't stalk your usual hangouts. (When I used to share a computer with my family, back before user profiles, I used to have to do this after EVERY session.) Hopefully he's just having a freak-out, and will calm down soon...

[aussirayne.livejournal.com]

Though I don't know you, I'd be glad to help in any way by storing files or anything for you. My lovely 120 gigs of storage is only about half full.

Unfortunatley fathers can be idiots to put it nicely.

If I can do anything at all to help just scream at me.

AussiRayne@aol.com on msn
AussiRayne on aim/aol

[proxymoronic.livejournal.com]

Yep, pretty much the same here as for anyone else - I feel so sorry for you, it is unbelieveable. My laptop is all password-locked, so even if my parents took it off me, at least they couldn't read it. (I don't think the'd be mad about my lesbianism anyway, but the NC 17 fics? Eek.
'NICHOLAS! WHY ARE YOU WRITING PORN?'
'It's not porn, it's fanfiction. It's written to demonstrate the undying affection Cameron and Cuddy feel toward each other, even though they are both, in a roundabout way, attracted to House. It's--'
'I don't care what it is, two women having sex in the ladies toilets on YOUR COMPUTER is unacceptable!)

Gah! Noo! Anything but the fanfiction!
Seriously, do anything to save it - rip up a floorboard under your bed and stuff it in there! (Harder if you have carpet, but...) Put it in a duct-tasped box and bury it in the garden! Just don't kill it, you're too good, dammit!