don't you know by now {you can't turn back}

In regards to Morgana in Merlin season 3.

( TL;DR rant. )


Everybody's spent the entire show keeping secrets from her, from what her own nightmares really mean, to who her real father is, and finally, at the end of s3, to the fact that Gwen is destined to marry Arthur and be queen. I think she's so far detached from reality, thanks to Morgause's Awesome Brainwashing™ and the visions themselves being rather crazifying, that she's managed to miss that she can't really take Gwen's love for granted anymore. It's just been something so constant for her entire life at Camelot that it's beyond the realm of consideration that someone else would have captured Gwen's attention right out from under her (take that shippily or not).

And yet, it's gone.



Begin Super Special Season Ending Battle of Terror and Awesome and Destruction™, but even then, she has to give Gwen one last chance. Despite how she acted, I think Morgana was seriously really (if deludedly) hoping that Gwen would be all "No, Morgie, I'm totes on your side! Best Girlfriends Forever means Best Girlfriends Forever!".

Enter the picture that sums up my head canon for what was the final straw in the Morgana Is Actually Really Evil For Realsies Now game, which inspired this random rant.

Discovered the band You Me At Six randomly while waiting for "Fever" to premiere on another New Zealand radio station less than 12 hours ago. The lyrics of the song I heard didn't wow me (few songs do, though), but I liked their sound, so I googled around a bit and found "Contagious Chemistry".

Already a) it has become my new favorite song and b) I've mentally planned out swaths of a Sherlock/Moriarty fanvid to it and am just itching for a minute to start actually playing with it.  The problem is that I'm so limited in material--Moriarty was in what, 10 minutes of the last episode--that it's going to have to be very talking-heads, but I'll get over it, because JFC THE SONG IS SO PERFECT.

Have some lyrics:

If I could have a minute please
Then I'll bring you to your knees
This contagious chemistry is killing me

Oh, you'll never disappear
Until I give permission, dear
'Cause you're always gonna
Always be knee deep

--so, right, you're seeing it already, yeah, with how they're going to be the ones to kill each other? 

And then more lines like //You're not a name, you're just a face// (like how Moriarty is the name that "isn't spoken" except it apparently really is all the time but whatevs), and then //This love is dirtier than you think// which is soooo true because this is all about kinky hatesex and ruining each other and lots of choking.

AND THEN MY FAVORITE BIT, and the part that illustrated itself in my mind most clearly with material I know I have to work with from the show (because that's the problem--when it starts illustrating itself in my head, I get all these ideas about cool things I want to do like zoom in on the camera spinning around them locked in this draw of gunpointing, etc. etc. but though the gunpointing and stuff happened, the camera didn't do that, so I'm SOL).

No, oh, who did you think I was, him?
No, oh, is he the only lead you were working on?
No, oh, and you were caught with the best, yeah?

The moment when John comes out and we think he's Moriarty, and then when Jim comes out and is all "Pshhh, you're a stupid bietch.  He's a stupid bietch.  That is this so. much.

This isn't me de-OTPing Sherlock/John, though. Sherlock/Moriarty is a twisted, nasty, non-con relationship in my head, so I don't count it as shipping? Idk.

Anyway, really really excited, and want to move on to a new project, but I feel like I have to finish fixing my Lambliff vid (there are aspect ratio not matching problems--I think I could just leave it as is, but I've spent too much time on it overall to have what I thought was an easily fixable inconsistency decrease the quality of it) before I can start this, or I won't ever finish the one I played with most of the summer.

So yes.  Not doing anything really tonight (though I woke up at like 2am this morning, so idk how much time I've got before I pass out from tired), so maybe will put some time into fixing my Lambliff vid, and then we can start on thissss.  (Seriously, so excited.)

"It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick." Matthew 9:12

Umm, duh? I hope that's a misquote or something, because otherwise I can't get it to make sense. I do want to incorperate it into some deep, introspective, character study type of House fic, though.

On a completely unrelated note (I forgot that I had jotted down the above in here earlier to remember), I HAS PRESENT. For bleakone. And because I needed an excuse to reinstall Photoshop on this machine. Happy sort of half birthday (I started it on the day, therefore it totally counts; also, it's still the 4th in parts of the continental US even, so I win). I'm also not mentioning it, because I want to see how long it takes/if you find it, just for fun. Because it's more of a surprise that way.

It's more colorweird than I would like, but considering I pulled it off of Youtube, I think I managed to fix up the quality of the colors and such pretty nicely, comparatively speaking. Because Youtube rippers evidently are epic fail. My amazing lip-reading skills to the rescue, though; somehow when I was saving it and converting it around between file formats a few times (I had a video-to-gif thing I wanted to try, but it turns out it watermarks it all up, so I went back to the brute force screencapping + photoshop way making it turn out that any and all converting was unnecessary), the audio got ripped off of the clip, so I had to find the spot by watching Jared's mouth.

Anyway. It's uploaded in my scrapbook on here, so you should be able to pull it off to put it in your userpics, should you so desire (and I hope so, as I'd feel sort of odd using it myself since it's not one of my fandoms. Yet).

Voila!
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Clicked on a featured story on the Yahoo home page (one of the mini!featured stories listed in little links under the real featured one, actually; "Designer brings pajamas to the street" below "$43,000 suit sells well during recession"). And the tab that popped up (I haven't opened it yet) says "Yamamoto brings sleepwear onto t. . . " and whatever after that. Presumably Yamamoto is the aforementioned designer. And all I could think of was "but we killed Yamamoto!" LOLOL, West Wing geekage.

Finally got around to watching all of the Face of the Enemy BSG webisodes. The Gaeta plot twist in last night's episode makes more sense now, though I'm going to watch the webisodes again because I was (as per usual) sort of half paying attention and thus wasn't clear on the whole Gaeta/Sharon/people on the planet deal.

Let's see, what else. Umm, pissed that I'm not home this weekend, because it's the weekend of the open call for extras for Clooney's On the Air that's filming in the STL. To add insult to injury, the open call's at the mall that's all of a 10 minute walk from my house. And I can't just fill out the form and send it in because they need a picture as well, and I don't have a color printer here. May try to make the family do it for me and just drop it by the casting office (right down the road from aforementioned mall) once I pick out a picture (I don't have any recent ones that make me look oldish, which I have the feeling is what they're looking for), but first I've got to figure out the answers--I spend most of my time in t-shirts and workout pants now, both because of the comfort factor and the way my weight keeps bouncing around, so I've got very little idea on my clothes' sizes, and absolutely none on a dress size (especially because I'm still quite busty, so though I'm okay in pants and shirts because I can size them individually, I might have to go up one or two from the size for the rest of my body to find a dress that'll fit my chest).

CDC's sexually transmitted infections report came out a bit ago. Still not ever going to have sex in St. Louis, kthx: #1 again in gonorrhea and chlamydia. Umm. . . at least we're not the most dangerous anymore? Though LOL, I suppose that depends on how you define "danger".

Heard some people talking at brunch this morning (meaning, erm, yesterday morning) about the inauguration (a word which I still cannot spell--I leave out the first 'u' every time) music being taped. I think they misinterpreted the story, though--thinking, I believe, of the story with the little girls in China where one sang the anthem and another lip-synched it because the first wasn't attractive enough. This is Yo Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Anthony McGill, and some pianist whose name I didn't recognize but is undoubtedly of the same caliber. There is no one else who could stand behind them and play that music while they waved their bows/fingers. It was still them, just prerecorded.

And still. Have you ever tried to play in the cold? I have, fairly often with Fiddlers. Think about how your fingers feel when they're exposed in the winter. Stiff and painful, no? Now add to that your instrument gumming up in much the same way and bitter wind blowing around while you're trying to pull a light wood-and-horse-hair bow in a smooth line across a very narrow target that will produce the optimum sound. From what Yo Yo Ma says, that's SOP for these events--they did it at Bush's goodbye thing a few days ago as well.

Oh, and so I don't forget. Was in Dillon's (grocery store down here, part of the Kroger chain, none of which we have in St. Louis) and picked up a Star Trek Magazine issue to flip through. At the end of Nana Visitor's interview, she says something about how cool it would have been to have there have been (wow--spend too long looking at those last few words and you'll really get confused) a switch between Kira and Intendant Kira that nobody knew about, so at the end, you've got everybody running off in different places leaving her in charge, and imagine all of the mischief she could have gotten up to with Ro Laren. Now I really want to write that, maybe tying it in with the Annika overthrowing her in the Dark Passions books (as the impetus for her semi-permanent defection to our realm), but I'd have to watch the 7th season again--I haven't seen most of the whole plotty section of DS9 with the war and all, just knowing it through fanon and the semi-canon of the novels. Still. Would be great.

I have been knitting a hat. Sort of making it up as I go along, though. It's in this pretty yarn I got for free, though--all multicolored, though it sort of ends up all together purpleish if you look at it like a blur. I stopped, though, because I can't decide what to do next, whether to put in another little stitch-stripe thing or not.

This is big for me, though, as usually I just knit with no destination in mind, and more often than not just experiment and then rip it all out and play with the same yarn again (resulting in the outermost bunch on the ball of most of my yarns being all sort of untwistedlike). Though sometimes I turn what I've made into something (I've got a really pretty purse type thing I made with just plain knit stitch something like 3 or 4 years ago that I should take a picture of sometime), usually not. So I hope this works. (Though I think it may be too small for my head, as my needles aren't long enough to carry that many stitches, so I may end up giving it to my sister.)

ANDANDAND I found this "Where In Time is Carmen Sandiego" book from ages and ages ago in my basement. It's sort of a choose your own adventure type thing, but it's bits hard to play without the cards from the middle of the book that got ripped out and lost ages and ages ago, because you have to use the descriptions of the suspects that the people you talk to give you to pick the right person who stole whatever (because it's not always Carmen, as she has bitches to do whatever she doesn't want to do), and the dossiers of her V.I.L.E. Henchmen (I can't believe I remembered that that's what they're called) are on the cards. Still. CARMEN.

I had this Carmen Sandiego plotbunny a while ago that just popped back into my head. It was Carmen Sandiego/Jean Grey (from X-Men), and Carmen stole all the X-Men's powers, so Jean has to sex her to get her all vulnerable so she can steal them back. Because you know how in the show/games/books they always steal impossible stuff? It's like that. I think I must write that. I'll prolly have to enlist Katie in the caper, though, because she knows the X-Men universe, and though this isn't going to be close to/rely on/even look like it's ever gotten near canon, it's going to have to take place more or less in the X-Menverse, and I only remember about 1/3 of what she tells me about it and the people therein.

AND LJ COMMENTS ARE STILL GOING INTO MY INBOX SOMETIMES AND IT IS LE FRUSTRATING.

Edit: There is a raccoon or sommat on my freaking roof. It just bounced really hard on it. I shake my fist at you, random mammal, as you are loud and startling.

I don't like the new Internet Explorer version thing. With the tabs and all. Everything's in different places. Not cool. It's only on the new laptop, though, (which is almost out of battery and as such I'm going to have to get off in like 5 minutes) so that's good. It's not being all dumb on the real computer.

My calculus teacher is a whore. I made plans to make up part of a test that I missed on Thursday after school. Wednesday during class she tells me that I have to take it right then. And she won't let me look over my notes first. I was planning to do so before I took the test because I knew I didn't know the derivative formula things for several kinds of problems. And I try to get my notes out to look over them when she tells me that I've got to take it and she looks at me like 'hurry the hell up' and is standing by the door to make me go into another classroom and tells me that I need to go take it now. So there were at least 9 of them that I totally missed because I had no idea how to do them. Out of not that many. So basically, there's no chance of me getting anything higher than a C- on that part of the test. Because she's a whore. I could have remembered the formulas really easily after just glancing over them, but she wouldn't let me. Grr.

I have to use the line "I've seen sinking ships go down with more finesse than he/she did." in a story. Because I saw something like it on an icon and it is so perfect.

Got lots of work to do still. I haven't been doing anything lately because I just can't make myself do it. I just don't care. That's bad.

*battery dying*