fenrisranger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fenrisranger) wrote2006-01-02 01:12 am
fenrisranger) wrote2006-01-02 01:12 am
(no subject)
Okay, so my life is complete.
I won the Wicked lottery. I had been riding down to the Ford every show putting my name in, and on Wednesday evening I dragged my parents there too, so I'd have more entries, and my dad's got picked. But I filled out the forms and put them in and then dragged them to the theatre, so it still counts as me winning.
I spent the entire show trying not to cry. And failing miserably from "For Good" throught the end. Literally sobbing. I felt so foolish. But I'm definitely on a down swing, mood-wise, so it's not exactly my fault.
Still, amazing. Fanfuckingtastic. I was in the front row, so the whole time it looked like the chorus was singing to me. I swear the girl in front winked at me when she saw me mouthing the words along with them. Another perk of the front row: when Glinda did the line "It's not about aptitude/ it's the way you're viewed" she did this little lunge/scissor kick that gave me a view. Right up her dress! (Teenage horny moment over.)
And also, <Gelphie Moment!> when they were talking to the Wizard and he mentioned needing to prove themselves, Glinda went to Elphie something like: "Well, prove yourself," and smacked her on the ass as she walked to stand behind her.
Yay for that.
I saw Rent today, finally. Twas amazing as well. *Squeals again over Idina Menzel's ass* It was so sad, though. Sadie was right, Angel is the best character. But oh!, my Maureen!
So, to sum it up, I saw Wicked and Rent, therefore my 2005 is complete. (Though technically I saw Rent in 2006, we're not going to mention that.)
I went to a party of sorts at Stephanie's house for New Years. She really pisses me off sometimes. I mentioned to Katie what I found out about confusion with sexual orientation being a symptom of BPD, and Stephanie overheard, and started this whole (loud) thing about how I can't not be gay, I act so dikey. (Not her exact words, but the point was clear.) And later she brought it up about my major crush on my teacher in 7th grade, and Katie went on about how it was almost stalkerish (which it most definitely was not. Whenever I like someone, these friends hear all of it because I can tell them, but I talk about it a lot to make up for the fact that I can't with anyone else, and they think I'm obsessed. Really pisses me off.) And not everyone at the party knew of my supposed orientation or my crush on my teacher, so we can add them to the tally of people Stephanie's outed me to. God, I really hate her at times. What's that, about 15 people at a football game, my entire english class this year, not to mention her bragging about how she hooked me and another female friend up last year to everyone within earshot (at least 20 people that said something to me, several I'd never even met), plus the, if only two, other people at the party. *Growls.*
I'm fucking tired of being the school's token lesbian. She's outing me to everyone, and I'm not comfortable with that, and I've told her as such, and she continues to do it, whenever I bring it up, saying that it's not something to be ashamed of. I'M NOT!!! I just don't feel like telling the whole fucking world. For example, say I like some guy. Are they going to ever ask me out? No. Because I'm the fucking school's dyke.
And with this whole finding out it's a symptom of BPD, I don't know if I even am, or if it's just something this disease has forced upon me.
See how this entry started all jubilant, and got really pissed off very quickly? That's what I've been doing lately. But more pissed off. I've felt it for a while, but didn't really actually decide that I was definitely pretty near the bottom until I was sobbing at the Chinese restaurant because my apple juice spilled in my bag and soaked all my fanfic pages. These were mostly ones that had not been typed, so I was worried about losing them before I could get them finished or at least on the computer, but that wasn't any reason to cry. I made a fucking fool of myself in the middle of the restaurant. (I did have to throw away all my handwritten pages of The Hookup, and a whole brand new notebook and folder full of blank paper. As a result, I got nothing done save the end of the first section of the Gelphie wedding fic, and only that because I still had room on that page to write.)
I will post what I've got of the Gelphie fic, but only to here, not any of the Wickfic lists until it's finished. I hate unfinished stories.
I won the Wicked lottery. I had been riding down to the Ford every show putting my name in, and on Wednesday evening I dragged my parents there too, so I'd have more entries, and my dad's got picked. But I filled out the forms and put them in and then dragged them to the theatre, so it still counts as me winning.
I spent the entire show trying not to cry. And failing miserably from "For Good" throught the end. Literally sobbing. I felt so foolish. But I'm definitely on a down swing, mood-wise, so it's not exactly my fault.
Still, amazing. Fanfuckingtastic. I was in the front row, so the whole time it looked like the chorus was singing to me. I swear the girl in front winked at me when she saw me mouthing the words along with them. Another perk of the front row: when Glinda did the line "It's not about aptitude/ it's the way you're viewed" she did this little lunge/scissor kick that gave me a view. Right up her dress! (Teenage horny moment over.)
And also, <Gelphie Moment!> when they were talking to the Wizard and he mentioned needing to prove themselves, Glinda went to Elphie something like: "Well, prove yourself," and smacked her on the ass as she walked to stand behind her.
Yay for that.
I saw Rent today, finally. Twas amazing as well. *Squeals again over Idina Menzel's ass* It was so sad, though. Sadie was right, Angel is the best character. But oh!, my Maureen!
So, to sum it up, I saw Wicked and Rent, therefore my 2005 is complete. (Though technically I saw Rent in 2006, we're not going to mention that.)
I went to a party of sorts at Stephanie's house for New Years. She really pisses me off sometimes. I mentioned to Katie what I found out about confusion with sexual orientation being a symptom of BPD, and Stephanie overheard, and started this whole (loud) thing about how I can't not be gay, I act so dikey. (Not her exact words, but the point was clear.) And later she brought it up about my major crush on my teacher in 7th grade, and Katie went on about how it was almost stalkerish (which it most definitely was not. Whenever I like someone, these friends hear all of it because I can tell them, but I talk about it a lot to make up for the fact that I can't with anyone else, and they think I'm obsessed. Really pisses me off.) And not everyone at the party knew of my supposed orientation or my crush on my teacher, so we can add them to the tally of people Stephanie's outed me to. God, I really hate her at times. What's that, about 15 people at a football game, my entire english class this year, not to mention her bragging about how she hooked me and another female friend up last year to everyone within earshot (at least 20 people that said something to me, several I'd never even met), plus the, if only two, other people at the party. *Growls.*
I'm fucking tired of being the school's token lesbian. She's outing me to everyone, and I'm not comfortable with that, and I've told her as such, and she continues to do it, whenever I bring it up, saying that it's not something to be ashamed of. I'M NOT!!! I just don't feel like telling the whole fucking world. For example, say I like some guy. Are they going to ever ask me out? No. Because I'm the fucking school's dyke.
And with this whole finding out it's a symptom of BPD, I don't know if I even am, or if it's just something this disease has forced upon me.
See how this entry started all jubilant, and got really pissed off very quickly? That's what I've been doing lately. But more pissed off. I've felt it for a while, but didn't really actually decide that I was definitely pretty near the bottom until I was sobbing at the Chinese restaurant because my apple juice spilled in my bag and soaked all my fanfic pages. These were mostly ones that had not been typed, so I was worried about losing them before I could get them finished or at least on the computer, but that wasn't any reason to cry. I made a fucking fool of myself in the middle of the restaurant. (I did have to throw away all my handwritten pages of The Hookup, and a whole brand new notebook and folder full of blank paper. As a result, I got nothing done save the end of the first section of the Gelphie wedding fic, and only that because I still had room on that page to write.)
I will post what I've got of the Gelphie fic, but only to here, not any of the Wickfic lists until it's finished. I hate unfinished stories.